My overriding goal during this caregiving journey was that Deena felt loved, respected, happy and safe. Over time I developed a framework for caregiving that I used to guide Deena’s care and structure our life. The framework wasn’t meant to create hard and fast rules, or impose an inflexible structure to our life. It really just gave me a way to look at our life, manage the demands of being a caregiver, and approach Deena’s care in a thoughtful, practical way.
The framework ended up having seven strategies that could be applied to the many challenges that Alzheimer’s threw our way. I came to find that this framework helped me achieve my goal and provide the best care that I could in an environment that valued the person Deena had been and was becoming.
These seven strategies are:
- Strategy #1: It’s Not Deena, it’s The Disease
- Strategy #2: Being right is always wrong
- Strategy #3: ADD – Apologize, Distract, Divert
- Strategy #4: It’s the first time, every time
- Strategy #5: No harm, no foul
- Strategy #6: Going slower can be faster than going fast
- Strategy #7: I’m the only one that can change
Being Deena’s caregiver was both challenging and rewarding. I was far from perfect. I did some things right and a lot of things wrong, especially in the beginning. But when I made a mistake, I tried to learn from it, do things differently and not repeat the same mistake again. And I learned that every day was truly the dawning of a new day. A new day when we could cling to the happiness of our shared lives and also lay down the previous day’s trials and tribulations.
It was the honor of my life to be Deena’s wife, best friend, caregiver. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat, the good, the bad and the ugly.
Wonderful information.
We saw a lot if these steps with Dena and you. We are glad we were part of the journey. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your thoughtful insights.